he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Randomize
