mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
