pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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