How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I want her autograph on my taint
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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