He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize