i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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