are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
