I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
