if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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