question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
