Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
