Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
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