Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
