you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
