I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
