How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
