I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
They have beer where we have blood.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
