People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Randomize
