I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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