I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
