We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
