PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
