I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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