Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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