so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
