i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
