careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
