Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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