I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
