I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
