Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
bring money and cleavage
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
