okay pat passed out under dana's car
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize