I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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