Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Randomize
