So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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