good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
