sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize