i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
