So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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