Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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