wat bout pragnant strippers??
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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