last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
