Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
