Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize