Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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