wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize