I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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