I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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