the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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