His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
