white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
