He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Another day, another engagement, another cat
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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