Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
