butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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