I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
