The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
