well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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