let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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