last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Randomize
