I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
