You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
