The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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