got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
