Just fell off a train. Bad.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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