I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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