her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
